emo-ing

OMFG!!! its been ages since my last post.. i gotta feeling, of crapping over the night. HERE. yeap.. right here.. life isn't goes well since i have enrolled into hospital, as a PRP.. who is going to listen to my crap, perhaps U!! sigh~ just get my forensic exam over, bought mysef iphone but not keen to the new gadget yet.. thinking of how to pamper myself after hard work of 6weeks.. shopping till i drop? or laze over the weekend? buy myself a trip? hmm... i was hoping time flies, to oct 2011 when i'm entitled as a FRP, i will have the power in my hand and asking for more HOLIDAYSSS!! tats what i'm looking forward to.. damn it!! turning into 24 in less than 2 months time, stepping into 2011, perhaps is a brand good year for everyone.. i'm not that good though.. good night my dear friend, i wish you still keeping my blog address.. i really miss you so much!!!

no, que??

i feel that.. i need privacy.. i have plenty time to stare at the screen, but nothing came across when i start a word.. privacy, only for 1, 2, 3.. as minute as that.. no one could give a hand, i'm super duper emotional now!!! just ask, if 'no', why so?? if 'no', why after?? if 'no', who am i??

lost. in. wonderland.

where where where??
where are you?
i couldn't get you, through out the days and nights..
been searching, for quite some time..
i'm lethargic =(
where have you been?
how have you been?
the place ain't small..
the time ain't short..
for how long still..
the game
of
hide and seek?
a message
for u
u
u
the only U
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i need you =)

hide & seek

i'm gonna hide.. hide.. and hide..... again~

jus wana tell..

i'm a ordinary girl, with extraordinar.......

de...

something~~

it is... apa?

tak ape tak ape... doesnt matter seriously not a big deal...!!!! don't have to think much... go sleepp....!!!! arrgghhh... ada ape ada ape... is a serious matter!!!! i gotta meditate for whole night...!!! rodent is rodent, pig is pig, human is human.. you cant change it, i cant change it too =)

树, 珍惜她吧！！！

今天的话不多， 根本没有心情来应付最后一科。。 该死的老师，把最难得一科排在最尾，sien 啊~~惨了，还有一天多一点！！很想快点结束，可是。。 问题还在，考试后要面对的，更烦~~ 该怎么办呢？麦记，我又想写一些，人鬼都不懂的部落格。。哈哈!!! 心情特糟的。。 还有，另外一个朋友， 很想跟你说，叶子的离去，是树的不挽留，还是风带走她呢？？

笨蛋话

很想blog一些，人听不懂得人话，鬼也听不懂的鬼话。。因为，很多东西，还是不懂的好。。懂得越多，就越烦恼。。结果，我自己也不懂在说些什么。。只是，很烦。。。！！！考试烦啊~~~ 还有两科，加油吧！！！

never. ever

extremely disappointed...!!! certain thing i can tolerate with but NEVER.. this time..!!! i had it enough..!! i might be not honest because i never spoke to you before regarding this, how i feel when things happened.. i hope for, not a misunderstanding, but a fight which could garner a better understanding towards each.. obviously, i'm upset here but you never realize~~ i've no trust on you... can't see any until now~ why why why?? LEO!! i just hate Leo..!! i asked for more or was you the one i'm seeking for??

CAUTION: hazardous species

ghhrrrr.. mood off mood off...!!! as everything does not get into the way i wish for, extremely pissed with myself!!! trying to get into sleep, yet the super duper hot weather wet myself, my blanket and bed sheet instead!! i'm still sweating with ceiling fan + a stand fan spinning to the max=)

=my page- my space-my territory= was left empty for days, i'm totally blank of idea/words or maybe trying to occupy myself with activities/fb/workload to free my mind from entering a fcking emo blog likewise what is happening, RIGHT NOW!!!! megaqueen experts in emo-ing, kan?? why why why? i can't explain myself.. just....... being EMO... (whoopsss.. PMS) and i can't be selfish.... too....!!!!!

is.. endless....

i learn a new vocab..!! endless.. for endless love, is eternity.. for endless havoc, is problematic..!!! imagine u were placed at a junction, right or left?? which path to take and road to be chosen?? dunno.. dun ask me.. dunno who to help and how to solve the predicaments... i shouldnt no no no no.... keep on telling myself, reminding me NOT TO.. pls pls pls dun get me involve in all these things, i never ask for it and i dun wish it to turn up to be part of my issue in a day...

again, it was my fault.. i shouldnt brought up the issue.. i shouldnt mind other business.. i shouldnt open my mouth telling words which i am not suppose to... stupid dumb ass natasha.... can't just stop fighting? is only a year left, cant we stay with each and everyone peacefully and harmonically??? get me away from the junction, take me out take me out........!!!!!!!!!!!

for those seeing me everyday, sorry for being emo recently.. my words are tend to be hurtful at times.. im sorry if i do.. i need a break.. for EVERYTHING...!!! which included, YOU n ME too... ignore me is the best way.. i need no cares from others, and YOU.. i prefer.. to be alone.. gimme some time, pls...

~~ latest updates.. *winks*

thanks for everything... the sweet sweet.. and cute cute one.. blablablabaaa... i know we can make it..!! thanks thanks thankss....

failed candidate

eventually, you just don't have the trust towards me, and him as well...!!! i am super duper down.. down down down down down~~ why can't you understand me better in your way? why must conclude everything fast without giving me a chance, at least to prove that i'm not wrong... i took up my choice and insisted my faith for that.. why why why? i doubt, whether am i really blessed or.. not!!

people

i still wana continue my words..

i can't see the trust between us.. is fragile... likewise i break my promises and again i know that i'm going to repeat the same tonight, or it might worsen compared to the other day.. and your side.. you not gonna change for me and urself.. maybe i'm not the one you loved, thats why you ignoring me.. aheemmm=p her words/his words inflencing me much and causing me to walk away from everything~~ until now and even this afternoon i saw you also i'm giving a blur face.. not all the while i'm pissed with you but i feel like i fck up everything cause of... my sin..!!!!

anyway, i will out to penang tonight and most probably overnight there, enjoy ur b.m trip 2mr..=)

i really miss home rite now :'(

where is the eternity of love?

hmmppp... iz's call woke me up..!! blur blur still.. facebook-ing and wana post sth new, but what crossing my mind was... EMPTINESS!!! maybe lil bit moody though, too many things to think~~ haha..

went for movie-angels and demons, last night.. undeniable, it was great~~ raymond said the next date will be 'night in the museum'.. Lolx.. and we are not gonna bring maysha together=)

day 6, what am i suppose to do hu? i plan for nothing initially instead yeeny plan everything for me later night.. hehe.. gonna meet up my best best buddy.. which currently in a not -so-good condition~~ sigh.. everyone is falling apart..?? dunno~~ i'm so so so lazy to cross the bridge, is it far distance for me or is it because my heart keep on telling 'no' and 'stop' for everything? dunno~~ i'm learning to walk away from.. reality=) which doesnt seems to belong to myself or to best fit my concept/perception... she said "ppl will hurt you" she said "try not to love ppl" she sweared "i syg him better" she said"i pilih kasih" she said "he will" and yet she told "finally.." she told "not urs" she told "let go" she told "its on fire.. !!!" what the heck is on fire? dunno~~ she told "she's fine.." i will never believe in this..!!! lastly, he said "can see la" he said "my sixth sense" he said " im in love with her" he said "time.."

ghhrrr.. im v v v blur rite now... sorry!!!

que?

emo emo emo..

arghhh~~

emo emo emo..

arghhhhhh~~

sorry la!!!!!!!

why la all these happened??

why none pick up when i called? or.. BUSY...!!!

what should i do??

gghhhhrrrr......!!!

fck off..!!! just... fck off..

waaa!! sobsob~



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just....



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leave me ALONE~~

husband-wife's diary

wife's diary...(Sunday night)

I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but his mind was far away. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else (another woman). My life is a disaster.

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HUSBAND's DIARY

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Today Manchester United lost again !!!

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______________________The End__________________________

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i would blame on "TRUST".. to work out a long lasting relationship, trust and understanding are both important=) less fishy, eventhough man.. oppsss... "CAT" do eat fish.. haha.. but still, i wondering.. why is it so hard for a person to trust the partner? ALL girls demanded security, but commitment urged for trustworthy...

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Natasha's diary...

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EMO.. not bcuz i fck up my pham analysis paper.. (lil bit)...

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CHELSEA LOST TO BARCELONA!!!!!

:'( :'( :'( :'(

3. three. tiga

i couldn't pull myself out from it..!! i have been observing for a quite long time.. you are good, in a certain way.. but not all.. "noone knows his/her true colour, they might be a bitch.. and never trust anyone besides you" perhaps you changed, and choosen to stay up with her happily.. but, still i can't accept the truth.. i was all the while seeking for an answer, to put myself in a better situation or to support you.. and yet, i failed.. again, i have to face it today.. her words put me in dilemma.. nope, shall i say she conclude everything? the overall happening? gosh.. what should i do now??

i'm happy when togetherx2 with you.. though i had cockroach crawling on my face, and a dead body besides.. LOL.. i always say i will never trust you, but actually i do=) tats why kena tipu again and again..!!! when tian chen and shi zi meets, i ask for nothing, but hapiness, and simple life..=p

and lastly is for you.. carry on with your life, i can read your mind by a single test.. tsktsk.. is good to have her besides, and never let go anyone in your life(exclude me larr).. i know you understand her better, but to remind you as well, girls understand each other most of the time.. ask from her what you want..!! she is not that stubborn.. she has the faith on you, just that she doesn't has the confident in herself.. convince her, and grasp her with whatever you can!!! k?

i still couldnt reach, the sky..

i lost the game..

.

i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i;m sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry... i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorryyyyyyyyyy

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first, was for appala, my partner aka team-mate... i told we can win easily before the game started... and it will always on us, but.. sorry for never did a great job in that, nervous killed me, as what poh said!!! duh.. i'm weak and useless partner, mistakes all that, sorry~~ sobsob...

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the second one, was for my charcoal train.. whom i promised i will try my best to win, as i took it as our match as well.. sorry, i never perform well, never achieve what we wanted.. i never turn out the promise.. never. ever.. what's bothering me, was killing.. gomenasai@@

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the rest all.. was to you guys, whom expected me to win over the five hundred.. yea, i wanted the money to buy___XD sorry sm ppl, sorry poh chia, sorry my dear, nager, zul, yili, peithing, jimmy, maysha, thiaga, agi, the bpham ppl my classmates and batchmates, sc, yw, the cat etc etc.. i disappointed you guys, i trust myself, but never played well.. i need a pillow over the night.. i'm just not that.. gud=(

i shouldn't talk.. so much

i read friendster horoscope, and i trusted it well.. march 24, 2009 it says: "do what you want today, keep your head down, and don't get caught up in looking at the clock, it might distracting"

i smiled, after weeks back.. finally, i know what i want, and what can actually flash out my teeth around, to everyone.. people will sick sometimes, i recovered, not only from the sickness, but from the whole journey i am undertaking right now..

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life, isn't a waste.. i might forget what's happening before, but recently i used to recall everything back.. i've told someone, i'm not having memories during childhood, in nursery, primary school, and secondary school.. it's not a big deal, i dun have a big brain capacity to stuff in all these.. but worst thing was, hardly for me to recall back what i have done in first year of b.pharm, second year.. and when it laggggggg into 3rd year.. gosh.. what is my big brain for? is nuisance, everynight before went bed, i tried to recall.. from first year.. who sat besides me.. lecturers and subjects.. where we lepak in 1st year, frens, fight, etc etc. to second, and third year.. lil i can think of, but not all..

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memories, are worth keeping.. i'll trace back, lil by lil.. promise:@ life.. is worth to live.. i'm here, for three years.. for? a degree? a cert? i am seeking breakthrough in my life, which apparently fall into kosong. ko-song!!! i read nothing, i am doin nothing and i had nothing.. i feel so sick of it... i wanted more... moree... moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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you can read me as a emo person now.. yes, i am.. rite now!! i dun wish for a safe, mild pass time.. i wanted big, bold one..!! do something, at least for family or society.. i would not picking up fren's category if i wanted to involve something great with, they are all selfish!! haha.. some la=) you the one reading is not.. LOLzzz.. you will get tired, after being so well.. all the time.. and rite now i am sick,.. dude, i agreed with you.. i'm telling all these not because i get trapped by someone, just.. i see through all... HAHAHA......

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weird theory, brought maturity and stupidity towards myself.. sorry if i hurt you, yu fei in kl=p

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clock, represents karma..

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if life can be anti-clockwise.. what will happen?

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and belongings.. which we are searching for..

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T.T__

i'm so fan~~~

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why all the problems come in a vast??

why why why????

gimme a solution for that...!!

please...

arrggghhhh!!!

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i need a torch, show me guidelines..

or more unduly...

i need GOD...

show us a direction...

for where we heading to and how to handle all these circumstances..

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or more precisely

our predicament..!!

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no point bugging nirmala or zakuan

right?

aarrrggghhhhhh~~~~~~

for m.a.m

i'm back from the trip... sitting in raymond's room, trying to make myself get use to the keyboard, which the alphabets printed on his keyboard is TOTALLY wear off.. i salute him, and same times i feel proud because i can even survive without the alphabets=p

just a short post, wana tel.. im feeling guilt.. and useless... im not really..... sigh~~ sorry for all that~~ gomenasai...!!!

一直以為幸福在遠方，

在可以追逐的未來。

我的雙眼保持著眺望,

我的雙耳仔細聆聽，

唯恐疏忽錯過。

後來才發現---那些握過的手，唱過的歌，流過的淚，愛過的人......

所謂的曾經，就是幸福