i am sorry...!!!

i am sorry..!!

i am sorry..!!

i am sorry..!!

the days without you... T.T

the 4th attempt

after my eyes are swollen, my tears are dried... i only realise one thing, i am not a good leader... years of friendship, last time you scolded me because of leenee, and this time you scolded me because i am not behaving as a good leader.. i question myself, deeply in heart whispering... i am not presenting myself for the best still, with the only reason which i known... i am sorry, gomenasai!!

mood of the day.. tired

rehearsal is fun, but tiring still.. today was a mess, for everything.. i know i am kinda fussy people, lil bit strict>.<, and the worst is i will never say YES to my programmers.. shut up for all this, summarized for today's condition..

morning: mess

afternoon: sleepy

evening: enjoying but tiring

night: moody

i wanted to hide myself again for long, till now there are 3 people wanted in my list..

1st:baka
2nd:fang
3rd:poh chia

the rest... pls ... fck off...!! thx

omg, is it?

a funny joke to be share.. it was during holiday weeks before.. have nothing to do at home and started to text lisa...

______________________________

nat:" omg... i preganat already, how ar?"

was waiting for an amuse reply, manatau....

lisa:" sai la u, play only kut..."

...... long pause...........................

nat:" haih.. so smart u, having period pain, can feel like there is sth in my tummy=) actually wanted to ask whether following me back on monday morning or not...?? mission failed, will find for other target.."

_____________________________________

nat:" chean, i am pregnant, how? i am so scared..."

chean:" yea right, i wont blif you..."

nat:" serious, already 3 months period didnt come, told you already right, i am putting on my weight eventhough i am dieting.. how?? when you free? can teman me go watson to buy the pregnant test kit??"

chean:" hey you serious ar??? tell me, i asked you for one last time, if you say YES, i wil believe you truely"

nat:" haih.. how dare you doubting meee??? kinda sleepy, tell you la.. having period now, feel like sth bulging inside my tummy, eventhough walking also have to hold my stomach... hahahahah..."

chean:"@#$%&^%$#@#$%"

_______________________________________

when semester started, the first thing i shared to chun which shocking her was... chun, i wanted to get a kid now!!! haha... nice to be a young age mama, lesser gap and better communication, but still she reminded me the consequences.. sigh~~

a message to HIM

they said i shall be more happier, after the incident.. frankly speaking, i am notT.T they said this is what a friend should do, but why everytime i have to be the one? ended up scolding me backstab and doubts for our friendship.. actually, i do appreciate you much, just i hate a person giving promises again and again, ended up disappointing the parents.. sakit hati when i see the parents are being upset of having a child like you, why cant you change a lil bit, for the sake or your own? just stop telling lie to your parents, what we want is the best from you, and is already 22 this yeat, behave urself as a better person, can?

future tense

trapping in the past might sound serious, at times.. for those who cant really get himself/herself surviving out from the crisis, and yet insisting to be remained at stage.. lost and losing grip, is all coming out from our mind.. for those who had the lost feeling before, indeed they knew that it is possible to control it.. but our mind, their mind told them not to.. cowardy, in handling circumstances.. suxx!!

why are we have to mingle around with this kinda situation? ur msg reach to me when i am about to sleep, you sounds weak in everything.. i know you need someone, perhaps is me at times.. just blaming myself, for being a jollier to you instead shalll be a shoulder for you to lean on.. i saw unhappiness from you, but i know you are as stubborn as me=) wont showing it off till the day you breaking down, completely..! but i DONT WANT THAT!!!!

i just hope you to get better, face and see thing as an obstacles in your life, you've grown up after the incident, i wanted you to be more mature when you stepping in 21=) let go everything, it will just be a burden if you choosing to take it up day by day, which getting heavier and the end you are the one who suffered..! think of some happy thing, like.. tattooing ><

i'm in 3rd Year!!!!!

2 years left, time flies=) proudly to tell, i am the senior of 2 batches newbieee...!! not bad right??

left home ard 10sth in the morning, being chased out by my mum, she is going somewhere else and asking me to leave fast.. arrrggghhhhh... SP is hot, prefer to stay at home with a cooler now..T.T

went for the meeting, knowing that we have to get all things done within 2weeks time, lotsa complication to be settle, but i do feel that it will be a great success this time, because our comittee is strong (perasan me@@)...!! cheh~~

i am full still, dun wish to get up for dinner.. temporarily lost appetite to food esp carb meals.. CF told, "you are putting on ur weight ever since semester started... is physically fat, psychologicaly thin" wtf.. starting to miss mum's cook already.. should have bring her along and stay with me in SP><

tonight's plan:
*accounts (been dragging for years to be done..! lol)
*games arrangement
*blogging
*chatting=p (after get my work done la)
*supper??? next time la..

mega page=)

i need a brand new start, blogging in simple way, expression..!! for everyone, whom i know and may not know..! you guys are welcome to my page..!!

3 weeks holiday going to end soon, laying on my bed, hoping 2mr orientation to be finished fast.. only 6 of us organizing for the day, pity duh? just dun get it, we should have some ragging activities for this batch people, esp towards one of the girl named OOI CHIA CHEAN=p

a boring holiday, spending almost my time at home, finished 3 and half series, gonna be SERIES QUEEN, but mega queen just nice for me, mega power for everything.. hiakhiak...

basically, i am waiting for iz's blog to come out.. wondering what's the content inside? but i have a title to be crowned on him....=> dota king..!! haha

lazy still.. 2mr have to wake up early.. sigh.. why la want to promise ann to come for this stupid orientation??